MEMO

TO:  Whom It May Concern @ LHS / Bedford VA

SUBJECT: ::::::Saga of ChiWahWah Brave & Wabun :::::
::::Encounters with a Confused Twilight Zone Woman :::::
((( mean girl encounter; high school friends 40-yrs. ago )))
[[UNDER CONSTRUCTION BELOW — to be removed upon completion]]
:::::::::non-fiction BLOG Installment 3/3:::::::::::::::

IN LHS GROUP:
“Note to classmates— I wrote off & on today as time permitted. I forget who said what but I agree with the statements… Pam I think spoke well of remembrances in a paragraph, Marjorie of savy ness echoing the same, Karen of ice cream & heavens the 60 thing🙂, Sheila goodness as well, etc…. All valid statements with which I agree.

I’m not ignoring any of those, it’s just in my day I added paragraphs & slight edits to that long text I’d posted ..not realizing when I got interrupted the original long un paragraphed version posted… Now unsavy me does not know how or if it differs from the paragraphed version. So, I will post that 2nd paragraphed/edited version as well…. but it may be a complete waste as a repeat of the first.

Bottom line is I agree with you all. The next comment consists of the “preface” to my already posted comment that I’d thought had not posted. Now I am feeling the 60 yo mark looming large… I believe I write so I’ll not forget to say a whatever. This upcoming preface is to “TZW ” & ordinarily would be in private… But since there seems to be no love lost, I’m more comfortable in public when talking with her… Which I daresay reads like another ice cream bit…. Everyone else can ignore it. It’s only a few explanations of high school & college contacts that I had with TZW that may or may not be at the root of her & my misunderstandings… I really don’t know. It’s ancient memories.”

ALSO FROM LHS GROUP:

FYI ~~~~~~[[[from Bedford Group ]]]
Frank Draper
Wonderful picture of Christine, just as I remember her. And the song was very special. Don’t know if you are aware of the Draper Cherokee ancestry. My grandfather was part Cherokee.

Sue Hite
No, not aware at all…I did not know exactly where the Cherokee came into play on our tree… I once saw an old photo at Grandma’s that was taken when she was a child… It was a group photo in front of an old weather board school house…her brother was in the picture …I forget his name, but have it written in notes somewhere I think… He had long straight black hair, & dark complexion… just like her… That pic & the ‘Spirit of the East Wind’ Plate I inherited are really all I know about it…plus I got her high check bones but not the coveted complexion So I loved it that I found that song since I’d never heard the spoken language. I’ve chatted a few times with the vocalist on SoundCloud and she has daughters that she’s raising to know their heritage…which is really very nice.

Sue Hite
BTW I’m glad the song was imbedded in the pix cause otherwise it would have been deleted. I suspect that Amy Howell’s note about non photo posts were directed at me since I posted some great piano composers works and a few other nice pieces… that all seem to have been deleted. Very strange…so I guess music is unwanted in this Bedford group… I had no idea. Personally I listen to music as I read or write on FB, just thought others from Bedford would enjoy a few tunes as well….guess I was wrong about that.

Frank Draper
I enjoyed them and thanks for sharing.

Amy Holdren Howell
No ma’am not intended directly at you! I actually don’t use the site much but have kept it up because everyone seems to enjoy it. I apologize if something was deleted unintentionally. I just went thru and deleted anything that didn’t directly connect to Bedford. Honestly didn’t even look at names and went back much further then you even joining the group.

////// //RESOLUTION PROPOSED////////
(Multiple choice answers available in path forward section below)

PATH FORWARD LETTER TO: “TZW”,
If you have proof as to the Bedford group so called “banning” then,

I would appreciate a copy of the dialog as I suspect based on your report in LHS group that comments have been made that were not communicated to me.

As you can see below, the group owner Amy indicated my postings were not a problem in that group.* Other members liked all my posts, only one example here but there are others.* So, I have no knowledge of your repeated reference to alleged “problems” with that group.

After your comment in the LHS group, I did ask around and found the word on the streets of Bedford are as I told Amy, as an out-of-town native:

“….I have a few groups of my own so I’d actually forgotten about your group until it was referenced by another person in comment from a different group in what I’d term hearsay or gossip. Without breaching any confidences, and this might be completely off-base…. I am not making a judgement of what was said because I am nearly an outsider with no interest one way or another…. I heard from a Bedford native that your Bedford group is composed of a cliquish ‘older than us set of people ‘ that consists ‘mostly of right wing fundamentalists.’ I am 59-yo and a few people I recognized in your group were 65-70yo. Not that any of that commentary is passing is true, it could be totally false… No idea….”

Since Frank Draper,* BHS ’63 said he enjoyed my posts in Bedford group, And group owner Amy* did not delete anything I posted,
Based on your comment in the LHS group, that said:

“Social media is not to plaster your opinions and personal remembrances all over people’s pages or public group pages OVER AND OVER AGAIN”

Based on your bold, irritated sounding words, I sense the actual truth is closer to YOU did not like my posts. Thus, you were involved because how else would you suppose there is a “problem” when the group owner said otherwise??? sounds fishy to me.

Your reports to LHS group are vague & unsubstantiated. Reports that are perhaps made in a deliberate seedy cloak & dagger weird attempt to bash me for some unknown reason. Honestly, I have a ton of relatives in that Bedford group. I’ve been told its more or less a “toxic” type group, does nothing for them & is of no value. I can understand their sentiment since we already have a various private & public family connections / tags that contains info your Bedford group does not.

Amy’s been nothing but nice to me. I found her Bedford group about the same time that I found the LHS group. So since her group is relatively new to me. Thus, I cannot offer any direct judgement of Amy’s Bedford group. I’ve bumped into several distant relatives in that group, one I’d lost contact with and two I knew but did not know were related …they knew since they are 10-years older. So, to me the value in that group was not photos shared as much as it was conversations shared.

My concern is that I hope you’re not any part of the “toxic element” description of that Bedford group. What you might consider my seemingly repetitive “opinions and personal remembrances” are my shares to a HUGE FAMILY. Sharing anything to the Bedford group was just a FYI to family friends & neighbors since all my relatives have those items already elsewhere since they see my timeline & private family posts. Mom has 10 siblings & Dad had 7, often with 6-8 kids each…you do the math! I cannot move an inch in Bedford /Roanoke /Lynchburg without bumping into one of them… People from large families, they know what I mean. …who needs FB when you’ve got that much family.

While I appreciate any “effort” you might have made on my “behalf” for an alleged “Bedford group problem”…I have only evidence to the contrary which make the validity of your statements in this group questionable. IF such things happened, we are back to the same basic principle where an offender of som secret rule was left in the dark without the courtesy of a word of explanation. Then to hear you rant in the LHS group about some imaginary event of which I have no knowledge…smacks only of you attacking me personally for some kind of gain… I do not know what a person gains from such meanness in comments.

Seems to me you & I’ve got work to do…

1. Provide proof of your allegations as a simple FYI. The only reason I’m curious is due to a self improvement question of “what the heck did I do?” Cause as weird as all this is…I prefer not to repeat mistakes, whenever I can.

[[ I doubt you can or will so this request is a mute point. ]]

2. Straighten up and fly right …get your act together with a mouth filter so that you at least approximate an attempt on a level “play nice” path

[[ I doubt you can or will so this request is a mute point. ]]

3. Your negativity permeates this group…at least since I’ve joined.
Did you behave this way toward others before I joined this group?
If not, then you have singled me out for an unknown reason.
Naturally, I have to wonder…
Is the rest of the class comprised of venomous hate-mongers like you?
I don’t think so because I’ve seen various classmates in comment both here and in comment on other pages, and they seem to be happy & enjoying themselves…. so classmates are not an issue.

That leaves just you & me as issues of the day for this LHS group.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
PROPOSED PATH FORWARD
I have a potential solution. My break from sharing photos is already in play. I seem to have addressed all of your concerns posted in comment relative to me and/ or my shares.

I suggest that our personal business is concluded with the vault closed on memories of your & my personal interactions from school days 40+ years ago. We have nearly nothing in common other than those school days. So, we make an agreement to shift our focus off of each other, and onto our classmates. We talk of them, to them, & share with them. I believe that will neutralize / eliminate our exchanges. If we agree to do that, then I think we have a path forward. If you cannot agree, then one or both of us has to leave the group out of respect for our classmates.

What’s your preference:

YES — agree to path forward to focus on classmates ( off you & I )
NO#1— disagree with path & I leave this group
NO#2— disagree with path & you leave this group
NO#3— disagree with path & both of us leave this group

Answers:
TZW <<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Sue<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

♣”People take themselves so seriously. Really cause they want other people to think they are more awesome than they really are. We are all lost hurting and condemned to a life on this planet until we die. We let the most charismatic rule us not the most endearing, smart or honest people. We allow this because we are afraid to be ourselves.”—Donnie Bugden

♣”We fear things in proportion to our ignorance of them.” — Christian Nestell Bovee

/////////
Admin Ann
Have had several request to please limit your post to one (1) per day per person……any more than that will be deleted…….thank you

Sue Hite
Besides Bedford & LHS pics, there’s no real point to this group…Unless a hidden agenda is someplace I missed. Sounds like 200-yr old Bedford bicentennial photos were unwanted. Noted. ..no more Bedford pix here then. Sorry to have wasted my time uploading & sharing.

Also interesting, LHS photos are an issue… odd, but here’s how that went:

Ann/someone deleted remembrances of Ray & Wayne Smith, and one of Wendell & Cathie Johnson’s late daughter which were shared here…..without any warning.

Courtesy of a notice /msg would have been proper behavior in my circles. But this is a Bedford circle, so no worries… I understand completely. & continue to note the ever changing rule narrowing.

However, I would have preferred to save those text memorials for family. I apparently wasted time typing & sharing heartfelt memories of LHS students of our era to what appears to be unappreciative LHS classmates. Sorry to hear all that. Not taking personal offense though cause… Life is too short….& too difficult for FB nonsense.

I hope everyone finds what they are looking for in this group. Personally, I’ve been disappointed to learn a few things regarding LHS classmates. Sadly, I imagine any honest thoughts & leaned lessons re LHS on this /any posting are unappreciated from me as well….in my perception i find that tripwire vibe a bit unflattering. Nevertheless, lesson learned on my part:

Family first, LHS FB group whenever, if time …because in the scheme of ~40-years time since school days,….. life moved on for us all outside of Facebook.

Our LHS class was cool in terms of people, places, & events, so very many years ago… A special time for us all back then. I remember it fondly & enjoy seeing many of the same faces here. Appreciated seeing all the reunion pix & other posts/thoughts… maybe more than some since I’ve missed living there for more than 40-years. Since I’ve met my daily limit of 1 share, I’d best be quiet now….. so I don’t set off anymore notification/ hidden-rule tripwires.

Also….

Senior lapse… Forgot to say… The historical pix shared were intended to fill the between reunion lull as catalysts for memories old /new. With a tidbit on cousins as human interest if people might know them. Lord know I hear enough Bedford crap from family, so to me LHS group is sort of an oasis in a weird way relative to family noise. I do fine in FB ‘savvy ness ‘ in other group circles….as for “wounded messages”….that’s an inappropriate mindset to which I can only hope you NEVER have to endure what I have & continue with Post op ….I put on a damn fine HAPPY FACE …and neither you, NOR another uni enlightened, uninformed person will prevent me for trying to keep a happy spirit…. It’s an unimaginable fight to have daily….suffice it to say, physical losses & pain are the pits…. Arguably cognitive memory too… You’d be doing yourself a favor to read the TBI FB page…then check your thoughts…before calling me wounded…. I AM WOUNDED in this UGLY POST OP STATE…. I’m just saying, you have no idea. No matter what you might say or have morphed into… I love you as if we were at LHS. Feel the same re LHS. So, stuff it. You cannot “preach” away my sentiments. Sorry to blast… But that remark is akin to a friend who once wanting me to join him on a cruise, in post op state I cannot…yet he had the gall to say my “problem ” was I need to “buck up”…. Grrr, he had no idea how hard I was trying on daily basis… He is still a good friend, but it was a rough patch for us for awhile….maybe my blog links to TBI might help…. In a stupid way, I’m saying I’m limited /wounded in many ways, my online time is limited too. So sorry this happened to me, so sorry to tell you about it. I’m only human. I AM NOT LOOKING FOR PITY. only hope for shared memories with friends. I don’t know any other way to say it…I was within 1-2 weeks of death, surgery was life saving… I’m lucky to have lived to reconnect. Everything from me sounds wounded, deep, sappy for a reason. This post op crap is totally strange. So I proudly wear the FB unsavvy title or whatever “wounded” label anyone chooses. ….cause whatever idiot name you might call me… I am sure it fits cause I’ve used them All on myself…..Again, sorry to be so blunt in emotion. . Post op happy face is a freaky subject for most.

♣”There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow, so today is the right day to love, believe, do and mostly live. “—Dalai Lama

PREFACE
Ok TZW, My goodness, is my reaction to your comments.

I gather from your “un fixable remark” that you mean me. Thus, we are in mutual agreement that the other might need some ‘fixing.’ So be it.

I cannot & will not keep up ‘tit for tat’ with you in whatever your game might be. I’ve made every effort to set a level path of understanding for us, but you seem bent to be destructive rather than constructive towards such a path.

I see it for what it is… A personal attack by you on me for whatever reason. I see no logic whatsoever in your remarks. I am not the idiot loser you seem to think I am, for some unknown baseless reason. I hear your un relentless digs loud & clear.

I’m not dense, just ignoring & hoping for better. I’m sorry you feel that way and choose to behave as you do. Your behaviors & attitudes can stand adjustment of tolerances & filters. Although, at times one can lead a horse to water, but cannot make him/ her drink. So, what will be, will be despite any suggestions from me.

As a farm raised horse whisperer,… A true story …sad story… regarding my horse’s reaction toward you on our farm in high school days. Perhaps I should have better believed my horse way back then. Others did, and as I recall that was the last time I was allowed to invite you over to my house. Not allowed for your safety due to that specific horse’s reaction.

As you may recall, I chastised my horse immediately & steadied her. At that moment, I was horrified & embarrassed at my horse’s behavior since you two had just met in that barn yard. And, were only ever standing a few feet from one another. You & I didn’t ride that day because of that horse’s never before seen behavior, and never seen since. I knew what the horse felt, & meant. However, I downplayed it to you as a silly horse event.

I was truly annoyed at my horse’s “read” and quite embarrassed by her behavior toward you. I thought I knew you much better than my horse did… I mean… C’mon, what could a horse possibly know. She’d just met you. Her behavior toward you was seemingly out of line. Maybe I was wrong not to tell you the full meaning back then… A disservice by omission. perhaps.

My horse thought she was protecting me and/or herself by rearing on her hind legs and pawing the air in your direction with her front hooves. It was her way of saying to you “back off” or “back away” from me/her. I cannot explain how animals, such as this horse, make their judgements other than it’s usually rooted in emotions such as fear. Some would say such an event is a reading of an aura or perception of a threat. Whatever the real or perceived cause, the reaction is real. So, if you may have wondered why you were never invited to my house again, it’s cause we had too many farm animals that might potentially behave in an unsafe manner towards you.

I tried to protest the parental ruling by promising we’d not go horseback riding….but to no avail. I was told we had no guarantee another animal wouldn’t have the exact same reaction, which would be an unsafe situation.

If you do not understand the horse whisperer concept, then never mind. It’s only an observation from an event long ago that reared it’s head as a result of stirring high school memories and current observations. I mention it because as I recall, we used to have sleep overs at one another’s houses from say 7th grade to 9th or 10th grade… One of the reasons we drifted apart was due to this horse whispering event and my parents putting an end to our sleep overs for me. It was nothing to do with you or I… or our friendship… Not a reflection on you in any way whatsoever. It was merely a safety measure in the eyes of my parents. I’m sure other interests factored into our drifting.

I recall working at Belk kept me from high school activities. Plus my church was located only couple of miles from Staunton River High so, most of my allowed social actives were family / church functions with mostly SRHS kids. I had some town LHS family too but they were limited in number compared to my SRHS relatives.

At any rate, that’s my long winded story of our drift. As I recall, the last contact I had with you was in college around 1973-74. ….sophomore year I think.. You in Richmond @ VCU, me in Fredericksburg @MWC. We spoke on the phone & made plans for me to travel to Richmond to visit one weekend. We planned for me to stay at your place, & to do some daytime stuff, I forget what. Since I was going to a U.Richmond fraternity dance. .. you were going to that dance too I think… I don’t recall details…. Other than I found myself in Richmond and you’d vanished… no attempts at contacting you were successful.

So, after the dance I had no place to stay…thanks to your mysterious disappearance. My date “graciously” offered a bunk in his room in the men’s dorm. Having no backup plan, I accepted the “gentleman’s” offer from my friend Reggie. The next morning, he was nowhere to be found…. untilI stuck my head outta the door hoping to see a person to direct me to a ladies bathroom… I overheard him boasting of sexual lies that never happened.. I have little tolerance for liars. So, I was greeted by a bunch of idiot dorm guys, with a smiley good-morning that made me feel like slapping those stupid grins off their faces. Not to mention I was not pleased to accidentally hear Reggie’s lies.

I found the ladies room and decided to dump Reggie that Sat. Morning… He was not happy about me saying I was backing out of the Sat. night dance….
“I couldn’t “do this to him”…. We’ll I could, and I did.
He could go stag to that stupid fraternity event Saturday night. I did not care. I was outta there. I called Sandy again thinking we could still get together but I got no response, and no voicemails returned…. Not even the following week. So, I quit trying. It was not like you, but I didn’t worry cause crap happens.

I was so perturbed by Reggie, that I didn’t want to even be in the same car for the hour drive from Richmond to Fredericksburg. So, I had him take me to the bus station. He & I were both upset over that dorm bragging ordeal… So much so that I initially wouldn’t let him buy my bus ticket… We probably made a weird looking distressed couple at that ticket counter…. Him insisting… Me refusing… The ticket guy looked baffled. LOL… In a desperate attempt to ease his guilt, Reggie took cash from his wallet & waved it in between my face & that of the ticket agent. …. At which point, something clicked in my brain that said…”wait a minute, he should pay” …so, Reggie bought my ticket… We laughed & became great friends for the rest of my stay at MWC.

I made lemonade outta a lemon weekend.

Reggie called & wrote many apologies, but we never dated because I didn’t trust him at all…. But he played on the Rugby team and I was that team’s connection to post-game showers. MWC allowed men’s schools to use the rugby field, but not the locker rooms… Cause those various school teams had a history of trashing the locker rooms. However, MWC kindly hosted “mixers” or dances after those rugby games. Ewwww…no showers!!! So, to help my friend’s team… after MacDonald’s or some fast food…. Myself & another girl… took Reggie & teammates to a MWC dorm with hall bathrooms with a shower room… Locker room style. This way, Reggie & friends could attend the dances with a post-game shower.

Once I recall Reggie’s team had a huge lead in a game, so when there was a time out by the other team… Somebody had the idea of pulling a prank on the other team. The prank involved me. As I recall, Reggie took off his jersey & put it on me over my tee shirt & shorts …then had me run onto the field as if they could send in a girl to kick their butts….the other team went nuts laughing. They may have well have called the game right then ….cause the outpouring of silly jokes between teams was ROFL funny stuff.

I’m a story teller offline/ online… on the pilot plant or factory floor, or anywhere… Thus a few collage /youth stories are naturally thrown in the mix of typed words here.

College was busy. I was poor so I worked, had scholarships, loans… My parents could not help out. So if I wanted college, I had to make it happen in every way…. My dad said I was forbidden to go to college… What a nut job idea he had…. In the end he did drive me to MWC freshman year…. Probably glad “he didn’t have to pay a dime” as I’d said I’d figure out a way to pay. I cannot say he paid zip, cause he once GAVE me $1,000.00 when I was in grad school @ VA Tech. Bless his heart… He’d changed his mind regarding college and volunteered his support. He was a tough guy. Perhaps my best teacher in life…. But I can tell you this… My having the nerve to stand up to him, disobeying his “orders” …as a creative thinker, he taught taught me much about risk taking in life. His method worked on me, and worked when I used them on my VP boss’s peers…. I’m sure it’s why he hired me to rep him.

So, … I’m not bragging to you… I’m simply stating facts and “head banging” here in telling you that your perception is way off… But in my bluntness… To put this in perspective: What you, I, & others think is shared small town high school memories of yesteryear… What is shared in this remembrance group is not our entire lives or interests…. In perspective, each group member has a real offline life which is impossible to capture in this type of group. I share a few personal items as examples of past offline & current FB unpleasant behaviors toward me by you (Sandy) and of my tolerating such things in the past. So, I honestly cannot help but think… What the heck… NOT this again! TZW: I will not be baffled with your misplaced ReggieRichmond-like digs & fake ness…. nor let you speak with such smug venom over nothing…in your obvious attempts to make somethings of nothings. It didn’t fly 40-years ago, and it doesn’t fly now.

I tell all I know about you here (which is limited due to a 40-year gap) with suggestions on how to improve yourself only because you once seemed like a sister to me. You can take it or leave it. Perhaps you are unaccustomed to frank talk, but in my industry we have to “fish or cut bait” without dallying. Thus, I am also saying if you speak in regard to me, then based on my current experience… you need to guard your words with a filter. It’s clear that you don’t care for me or want our friendship. Noted.

I’ve invited classmates to my FB page & music groups…..you were once there but opted out. So, there is none of your trash talk on my page. Thus, if I happen to ever comment/ post to this LHS group again, then kindly use a filter cause I’m tapped out…. Speechless really that I need to provide such FB function & etiquette tips to clarify your misguided understanding. I provided the toll free number to FB experts for that. So unless asked a specific question, I have no further suggestions.

It was nice knowing you 40-years ago. Nowadays, you seem a stranger, unknown to me, with agendas not understood by me. I guess, I have to chalk your remarks up to one of the mysteries of life. I truly hope you find whatever you are seeking.

I typed the comment below before seeing your note of “not needing help”
So pardon my attempt to help out around here. I only offer suggestions that may be helpful to the group function. No obligation. No worries.

Given the scope of perceived issues, I provide a further comment on FB functionality & etiquette below. It’s only my 2¢ on these minor matters.

Best wishes,
Sue

PS Referenced Comment to follow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~COMMENT~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TZW, this tap dance of yours is unbecoming of you. I will explain as best I can, as directly as I can. Honestly, suggest via this comment conclusion that you change your tune. If not toward the world at large, at least toward your fellow classmates. You can snipe at me as much as you like. Although, I prefer you cease the whining-snipe-digs permanently. For whatever it’s worth, I’m somewhat like Teflon… At best, attempts on your part to snipe at me are futile,… but hey, whatever floats your boat.

Your comments in pettiness are both absurd & boring, and needs to be curtailed… as such tunes serve no worthwhile purpose. Your constructive/ informative comments however are quite useful… And, I have been most appreciative for all of those upon receipt. Whatever various life pursuits you, I, or classmates have had since 1972, might generate a bunch of thoughts as to our school days expectations of ourselves vs. our real time actualities. The capture those memories in this group is probably the most enjoyable aspect of this group.

You/others have not seen that FB functionality because you/others may not have the same (engineering/FB) experience with groups that I do. Each discipline/group differs, such as what I described previously in comment in engineering & music groups. I have my own online pages formed per my engineering hardware/software professional experience as a basis in: WordPress Blog, personal FB page timeline/ albums & groups, Fandalism, SoundCloud, LinkedIn, MySpace, ReverbNation, Pinterest, etc…. All as “sksskh”…. with various offline widgets & apps supporting.

For all dynamic online platforms…The royal pain for most everyone is… lack of tech support…or varying degrees thereof.

FYI some background info since I’ve not seen some classmates since reunions/graduation … so there is better understanding of my subsequent FB /group explanation based upon my experience.

Firstly, I am nothing but a NERD with a creative mind* + heart-n-soul** that’s been farm-raised to fear no challenge & be practical in design.

I’ve handled corporate VPs… who were brilliant individuals, but childish in behavior… Handled by disproving their ill-formed logic, Or lack thereof, in meetings. So, to find similar behavior issues in this high school group by a former classmate is a bit ludicrous. I will not allow anyone to exhibit such childish behavior toward fellow classmates without calling foul. My expectation is that since our LHS class always (at least in my recollection) played nice in our teen years 1967-1972,… that class spirit of “play nice” still exists among us today, even as adults on FB.

*Creative Nerd Mind, examples=>>Biotech Professional, degreed Chemical Engineer & Biochemist

**Creative Heart n Soul, examples=>> process engineering & experimental design, sewing, painting, sketching, photography, basket weaving, candle wicking, counted cross stick, stenciling, knitting, crocheting, guitar, piano, flute, writing.

In directing start-ups & running automated operations of research & production facilities, my staff support consisted of code writers aka software engineers… as well as hardware technical support, so that my group could focus on the process development aspect of science & engineering. My success at all corporate levels involved translating technical/soft-skill issues to uninformed parties. It’s not personal… Just informative corrections/ edits designed to help others to foster a better group zone for sharing memories.

Given my technical background & experience in R&D and manufacturing… Conflict & Misunderstandings regarding software & hardware are not uncommon… Especially in public forums such as this group where people have diverse ranges of experiences & background. I’m not saying you or anyone is unsavy on anything… all I’m saying is …you kindly need to stop calling me unsavy regarding software functionality (or other slurs, gripes, axes, etc) because that’s unflattering & inaccurate on your part.

As an engineer I’m baffled by any one complaining of notifications,… when with one click I can touch a button to turn off all existing buttons,… and a 2nd click look at my notifications list to discern to whom the notifications pertain…
In a 3rd click I can delete said notification….but I don’t cause I understand how the FB “stream” concept works…. Meaning what I see many pix uploaded (usually artists do this), I just ignore /spot check instead of deleting the notification because I know in only minutes my “stream” flow will carry them away.

Now, with that said… Many of my friends are FB active for various personal & professional reasons… So my only issue with notifications in that stream’s flow is I may miss a tagged comment… but that’s cause I have a fast flow stream aka active stream due to active friends worldwide.

If a person is not on FB often, or has friends that are not on FB often, then they might want to delete notifications of they have insufficient stream flow (inactive FB friends)…but if not deleted those things will float downstream.

You & I, like everyone… are at different user stages w/rt to FB or any software… even experts are at varied stages due to the ever changing nature of versions releases, computer systems, time available, etc….. So I’m just saying people need to have respect & tolerance for everyone …and help with where/what you can… Enjoy the connectivity of FB & shared memories. Now here’s the blunt reality…

Play nice.
♡ღ‿ღ♡⌒♡ღ‿ღ♡⌒♡ღ‿ღ♡⌒♡ღ‿ღ♡

If some one has a personal axe to grind with an individual, then constructively tell the other person in public/private respectfully, and get on with your life in a balanced fashion. No one can please everyone all the time.

I’m no stranger to conflict in industrial facility construction, operations, or scientific meetings. And have chaired many conflict-resolution professional team problem solving meetings in order to meet aggressive timelines. So, it is with a bit of experience I say this group/team needs to be inclusive, diverse, & a safe zone for all class members to speak freely without being personally attacked on a hostile & illogical basis for expressing themselves in a neighborly share(s) to classmates.

I believe my LHS class was/is a model class of free speech, diversity & equality for all. However, if I see any more personal attacks on me or any of my classmates, I can assure you I will have compassion /sadness for the offender… but will also be disappointed, if not ashamed & embarrassed for the offender.

FYI, I have a history in my professional leadership of shutting down offensive behavior in order to maintain a healthy workplace. I do not fear conflict, I squash it like a bug… so that open, real dialogs can flow freely. I work hard, play hard. As one colleague put it: “Nothing wrong with a little levity as long as your work gets done.” And, so colleagues and I climbed some rugged projects together, but we had a blast doing so …because we chose to make miserable work issues into great fun… Which produced a healthy morale, and safe atmosphere for all…. Believe me, I’ve got stories of all types of human behavior during conflicts my staff had with others, so many aha moments of stupidity & childish tantrums…all good people, a diverse group which at times misunderstood others due to culture, race, or language barriers (real or perceived).

Geez, not funny at the moment such things occurred, but those parties laughed about it later…often after I explained how they came across in perception… some knew, some did not. Especially painful were discussions involving sexual harassment or racial/intolerant behavior. Where I had to explain to adults our age with families if they did not cease offensive behavior, their jobs would be in jeopardy. Luckily, I never had to fire anyone.

I represented NC on my company’s NY based R&D Diversity team. Thus, I’m quite familiar, and intolerant, with slur tactics of any kind directed at anyone, anywhere.

I am about honesty & fairness. So honestly, to be fairly blunt, in layman’s terms, … Sandy, get your act together. Don’t assume any thing about me or any classmate. I will not be persecuted unnecessarily by you for your misinformed opinions pertaining to me and whatever axe burdens you carry. Be respectful. Refrain from negativity. Be happy. Be constructive. Adjust your tolerances in respect for others in all things. I’m pulling an Aaron Neville here in “Telling It Like It Is”… hoping people realize “not your toy” means “play nice.”

I’m not perfect. I’m forever trying, creating, & learning new things… and freely admit my mistakes,… but sharing 40-photos of Bedford history to serve as a conversation catalyst for LHS classmates is not a mistake… The lack of flow in the group’s stream & lack of pinned posts for comment, indicates a stale or nonexistent group flow. I simply tried to jump start some group action, which resulted in 4-5 nice memories shared. The only downside to that history share is it resulted in deletion of LHS 8th grade class officers, “climb every mountain ” yearbook song/theme/poem… Then a new ‘rule’ of one share per day per person was conjured & posted…. Hopefully, whoever generates constraints & conjuring realizes that’s not conducive to stream flow of a healthy group.

I suggest classmates post memories, if photos are unavailable… Because somebody might have a photo of said memory or similar memories to build upon the first. My shares will be less to the LHS group because everyone knows I have yearbook pix & Bedford history pix available in my FB albums.Senior’72 album is in best shape. 8th grade album has a ton of pix, half tidied. Grades 9-11 are essentially still in phone pending upload as time permits. I have too many other projects that demanded attention elsewhere. Unfortunately, until my HUGE family tree project is completed, I’ll not have much time for uploads of those LHS yearbook pix to my or LHS albums.. .

Open your mind, cause it’ll not fall out.

I’m just a concerned classmate. If my words in this comment fall on deaf ears, then I simply failed to explain adequately in regard to minor recent events. I prefer to hear memories /updates from LHS classmates instead of my nerd dialog on FB functionality, etc. but seemed I was required to defend my logic in the face of oppressive comments directed to my attention. Hopefully, this comment sufficiently clarifies FB group functionality & etiquette of late, based on my experience with other extremely active groups of fast flow.

In my memory, through out high school, TZW was our class hippie-chick, meaning she was so cool back then. I doubt the coolness has changed, since it seemed like time stood in our (Sandy & my) initial private FB dialogs.

Interestingly, TZW & I connected in dialog via iPhone as I took my seat for a school Romeo & Juliet performance by local 5th graders last month. Ironically, as I recall, Sandy & I first met in the 5th grade…and I later learned that she had a bent for Shakespeare….at some point, I do not recall which grade…there was a school field trip to Roanoke or Lynchburg to see Romeo & Juliet…on film maybe… I don’t recall particulars, only the Shakespearian atmosphere. My Romeo & Juliet FB album contains pix of that 5th grade performance. The dark haired boy, Mercucio (I think), delivered with gusto the best line of that performance ….which I missed getting on video….it was

“I cannot endure it”—William Shakespeare

My various links are in my FB profile pic.
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